Relationships are important for the young and old

Kadi Tubbs with the women of St. Jerome's Catholic Church

Recently, I was asked to speak to a group of women to give them encouraging words and to talk about intergenerational relationships. Interesting topic, right? What I love is that word relationships. We were designed to have relationships. I believe it’s important to have relationships in life. Without relationships who do you share your passion, joy, sorrow, pain and hope with?

Intergenerational relationships can be beneficial for both the younger person and the older person. I saw a news story recently with reporter Steve Hartman about an 82-year-old man and a 4-year-old little girl who had developed a friendship after she asked the 82- year-old stranger for a hug while shopping with her mom in Publix. It was her birthday and she wanted people to know it and she asked the man for a hug. That hug from a stranger changed both their lives. He had just lost his wife and was in deep depression ready to give up on life, but this little girl changed that. They developed a friendship which gave him hope and her a new friend. It’s stories like this that can really have an impact on people.

Kadi Tubbs speaking to a group of women
at St. Jerome's Catholic Church in Largo

I remember as a young child how we would go play Yahtzee at an older neighbor’s home. She was a widow and my friends and I didn’t think much of it at the time, but we just loved going to her house and playing games. She loved having us.

I also remember the relationship I had with my great-grandma. She was the only grandma I had living nearby us and we would visit her frequently. She was the best cook. She would always be in her kitchen cooking something. She would talk to us about coming over from Portugal and tell us how lucky we were to go to school because she had only gone to sixth grade in her country. She would speak Portuguese to us, but we never really picked it up. One time she babysat me and my brother and sisters and put my hair in rags to curl it. Back in the old days they didn’t have curlers she would tell me and they would cut rags and curl the girl’s hair that way. It was the only way my hair ever curled because it was so straight. Today, I sometimes put my two girl’s hair in rags to curl it. It was a tradition I am passing on to my kids from their great-great grandma. My grandma learned a lot from us too. We would draw pictures, dance and sing for her. She couldn’t wait for the family to come and see her.

I think every person has something to offer another person, especially when it comes to intergenerational relationships. Just think about the young kids of today and the technology they use daily. The older population not using technology as much, and if they are maybe not knowing how to use it fully. An example of this that comes to mind is a soldier we have been sending care packages to through my daughter Graci’s nonprofit Operation: Military Matters. His grandma gave us his address and when we told him that’s how we got his address, he said he wanted to get in touch with her, but she didn’t have Facebook and her phone didn’t have texting set up on it. He is in the Middle East and his grandma lives locally. Graci and I met with his grandma and of course the 11-year-old knew exactly how to fix his grandma’s phone so she could receive texts from her grandson. Now they can communicate from around the world.

Think about your life and the relationships you have had over the years with friends, relatives and even strangers. Our lives are hopefully full of ways we have made positive impacts on others through experiences we have gone through that we can help others maybe younger or older than us. Intergenerational relationships are ways to use your life experiences to help others. Next time your child, daughter-in-law, son-in-law, grandchild or neighbor needs help with something or asks you to do something make time to build that relationship. It’s worth it!