It took four years, but she conquered her fear

About four years ago, I wrote a column about the right time to get your daughter's ears pierced. My older daughter, Randi had her ears pierced at seven and a half and when my younger daughter, Graci was seven and a half and wanted to get her ears pierced like her older sister.

Graci was so excited, she had been counting down the days until she was seven and half. She had been wanting to get her ears pierced since she was five years old. My husband wanted both girls to wait until they were old enough, he figured around seven to make their own decision about piercing their ears.

So when Graci was seven and a half, we took her to the mall, filled out the paperwork they have you do before getting your ears pierced and were ready to have her ears pierced. That day, we even had two ladies who were going to be able to pierce Graci's ears at the same time instead of doing one at a time. Right when the ladies were about to pierce her ears, Graci said she didn't want to do it. She was too scared. We didn't make her do it. We said OK and left.

Graci was sad because she really wanted her ears pierced, but the fear of if it hurting overcame her and she couldn't do it. Later I had learned earlier in the day, she had told a friend she was going to get her ears pierced and the friend told her it hurt really bad. Those words must have stuck, with her even though her sister told her it didn't hurt except for a second like a pinch.

Several years have gone by and recently I was in the mall with her and she said she wanted to finally get her ears pierced. I told her ok, but she would have wait until her dad could come with us, because this was a big deal and he wanted to be there when she did it.

I kept that idea on the back of my mind and decided we would take her as a surprise for her 11 birthday. We took her to the mall and she had no idea why we were going there on her birthday. Once we told her, she got a little nervous. Even though she wanted it done, the fear of it hurting was making her rethink having her ears pierced.

We had her pick out the earrings and my husband and other daughter told her she was going to be fine. I filled out the paperwork and paid. I even told her when I was little girl I had my ears pierced at the same place.

The lady who was going to pierce her ears was very nice and tried to reassure Graci it wasn't going to be as bad a she thought. She even offered to give her a lollipop after.

We finally convinced Graci to do it, even though at one point I thought she was going to jump off the stool. She did it! She got her first ear pierced. We didn't have the option of having both ears done at the same time because there was only one lady working. After the first ear Graci said it didn't hurt as bad as she thought it was going to hurt. Actually she said it didn't hurt at all. She did the next ear with no hesitation.

After the fact, she was so happy she did it! She had wanted it for such a long time and once she had it done, she couldn't believe she waited so long. She was so excited to show off her earrings to her family that night for her birthday party and to show her friends the next day at school.

She told me later she learned from this not to let others get the best of you. And don't let fear overtake you. I hope she remembers this as she grows up and is able to conquer the fears that come her way.

When should you get your daughter’s ears pierced?

My little girls have wanted to get their ears pierced since they were about 5 years old. I think it’s common for girls to want to pierce their ears. Most females have their ears pierced, so it’s something my kids have seen and like.

Randi after getting
her ears pierced

Some parents get their kids ears pierced when they are babies. I’ve heard some moms say they do it because they don’t want people thinking their little girls are boys. I didn’t have my girls ears pierced because I wanted to let them make the decision for themselves.

When our girls started asking to have their ears pierced, I didn’t have too much of an issue allowing them to do it, but my husband wanted them to wait until they were older. I think I was seven or eight when I got pierced ears. I know it was a big deal to me when I was allowed to do it. I felt so grown up.

I think that’s why my husband actually had an issue with letting them get their ears pierced because he doesn’t want them to grow up. It’s hard on daddies to see their babies growing up. It’s hard on mommies too.

In the end, my husband and I came to a compromise with the girls. We decided when they were seven and a half they could get their ears pierced.

My oldest daughter, who is 16 months older than her sister, was excited because she would be the first to start wearing earrings. When Randi Kay turned seven and a half, she said she wanted to get her ears pierced. So we went to the mall and had them pierced.

We found out then that you can ask to have both ears pierced at the same time. It is so much faster and it’s over before your child can get scared to have the second ear pierced because it is already done.

Randi Kay didn’t even flinch. She was so proud of her new earrings and was old enough to be able to take care of them. If you haven’t had earrings or maybe don’t remember when you first got them, you have to clean them every night, rotating the stem and backings of the earrings. You have to keep the ear clean so you don’t get an infection. Randi Kay did great and hasn’t had any problems.

My youngest daughter, Graci, was counting down the months and days until she was seven and a half. She wanted earrings so bad. Finally a week before she was seven and half, she reminded my husband and me about going to get her ears pierced.

The day came, and we said, “Ok let’s go get your ears pierced.” On the car ride over she started re-thinking the idea of getting her ears pierced.

By the time we got to the mall and the place to get her ears pierced, she didn’t want to do it anymore. At this point, we were trying to convince her to do it. Even my husband, who didn’t really want her to get it done, was trying to talk her into it. She finally decided she would. We picked out the earrings and did the paperwork.

And then, Graci decided she just couldn’t do it.

It was a little disappointing, but I realized if she didn’t want to do it, I wasn’t going to make her.

I realized sometimes we can let one child do something at a certain age and the other may not be ready to do it at that age and have to wait.

On the other hand that child may do something at a younger age that their sibling did when they were older.  This experience made me realize once again all kids are different, even my own two. For now, Graci doesn’t have her ears pierced. I don’t think it will last too long before we are back at the store.